i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
