i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
