How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
