the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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