Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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