just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize