On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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