C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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