i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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