i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
