Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
