Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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