I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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