whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
