I wish my penis had an off switch
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
