i don't like sucking hair
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
