This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
