Sponge bath it is.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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