as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just threw up on my dentist
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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