my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
