your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
