Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
