Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
