did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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