I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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