My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
