can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
sarcasm needs its own font
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
