just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
