so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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