I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
