you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize