i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
