if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
