Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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