My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
