I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
