After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
