I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Pooping to opera.
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