I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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