All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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