The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
