I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
