you will always have a special place in my vag
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize