and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
