We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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