I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
