so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
