should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize