How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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