he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
