you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
