It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
