Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
