You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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