apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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