last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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