Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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