New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
