Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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